Her Lonely Howl (To Love and Defend Shorts Book 3) Read online

  “Love is silly,” Olivia said. “It’s crazy that both you and Claire found someone out here, so far from your original pack. But you did find someone. You merged into our pack. You have a home here, a family. Maybe you aren’t supposed to find someone else. But maybe you are. Would Brent really want you to spend all of your time here in the house? I don’t think so. You two were so active, so social. You’ve lost yourself, Mandy. You need to find out who you are again.”

  Mandy opened her mouth but shut it without speaking. Tears prickled her eyes.

  “If you really don’t want to try again, I won’t press the issue anymore,” Olivia said. “Just know that I’m here for you. We all are.”

  Suddenly, Olivia’s jaw dropped, and her eyes bulged.

  “You do feel like you’re a true member of our pack, right? You aren’t thinking about running back to Hazel Park with Alexis?”

  A tear trickled down Mandy’s cheek. “I’ve thought about visiting my parents, but it wouldn’t be permanent. I can’t. I won’t. I won’t leave Brent’s resting place. I wouldn’t be able to live so far away.”

  Olivia embraced Mandy, and somehow, Mandy found herself agreeing to just one more date. She didn’t have high hopes for this one, but finding herself again, putting herself back into the world, that did seem like a good idea.

  5

  This time, Mandy applied her own makeup and wore a simple, not too tight wraparound dress. She looked chic without appearing to be trying too hard. It wasn’t overly sexy at all, but it did boost her confidence level.

  And to be going through another blind date a week after that first terrible one meant she needed all the confidence she could get.

  Mandy’s nerves kicked up as she drove over to the restaurant. She was grateful that she wouldn’t be trapped in a car with a stranger again.

  This place was a step up from the chain place last time around, and she gave his name, Clyde Weber. Immediately, she was ushered to a table for two in the back corner of the place. Rather intimate. Too intimate.

  Just breathe.

  Jack had been a werewolf like Mandy, and she assumed Clyde would be one too. The fluid grace that he used to swiftly stand and guide her to her chair told her he had to be a cat of some kind.

  “Hello, you must be Mandy. You look ravishing.”

  She had gone to hold out her hand, but she withdrew it. Ravishing? He was looking at her like she was a slab of meat, and she wasn’t even wearing anything super sexy.

  He reached over and used shaking her hand as an excuse to pull her close for a hug. Something in his musky scent alerted her to the fact that her guess was right. Clyde was a werelion.

  “Order whatever you want. We can split a bottle of wine if you want.”

  “No thank you.”

  “You don’t drink?” He blinked in surprise. “Don’t worry. I don’t want to get you drunk.”

  “I drink occasionally,” she said. “Maybe another time.”

  The waiter came over, and Clyde ordered a beer. When she just got iced water, he sighed.

  “Please don’t tell me you’re only going to get a salad.”

  “I won’t,” she said, trying not to be annoyed.

  “Good. I can’t stand a woman who has no meat on her bones. I don’t want a girl. I want a woman.” He winked at her.

  Mandy smiled because she didn’t know how to respond. Thankfully, he didn’t make a comment when she ordered a steak.

  Halfway throughout dinner, Clyde still hadn’t stopped talking. He was going on and on about himself. Abruptly, he lowered his fork.

  “I’m sorry. I should be asking about you. I’ve never dated a werewolf before.”

  “First time for everything.” Mandy shoved a bite of her rare steak into her mouth to save her from speaking more. Although the meat was delicious, so incredibly juicy, and the potatoes cooked to perfection, she just wanted to shove down her food and get the hell out of Dodge.

  “Werewolf.” He shook his head and waved his fork around. Clyde had gotten the surf and turf. Despite talking nearly nonstop, he’d managed to eat three-quarters of it already, and yes, that did mean he was talking with his mouth open.

  Clyde was eyeing her, giving her a look she was sure he thought was smoldering. It was all so perfected, so clearly rehearsed that she had to smother a laugh.

  “What do you get when you cross a fury with a werewolf?” Clyde asked suddenly.

  She gaped at him, confused.

  “A feminazi.” He damned near howled with laughter.

  “A feminazi,” she repeated. Dismay and anger rushed over her like a tsunami. “Werewolves aren’t Nazis.”

  “No? You all live in packs and take from everyone else and lay your claim on everything, and… no?” Clyde leaned forward, reaching for her hand, which she conveniently dropped onto her lap. “You know, I wish you weren’t a werewolf.”

  She placed her fork on her plate and sat there, spine completely rigid, so perfect in her posture that her back hurt. Was he going to crack another joke? Didn’t he realize what an ass he was being?

  “Why?” he continued as if he couldn’t see the anger in her tight jaw. He definitely couldn’t see the tight fists of fury in her lap. “Well, mostly I wish you weren’t wearing anything. Or, since you are a werewolf, I wish the ‘where’ was that you were under me. Under-where-wolf.”

  If Mandy’s water and his beer glasses weren’t empty, she would’ve dumped them both on his head.

  She pushed back her chair, the legs scraping against the floor, and jumped to her feet.

  “Are you lost, my where-wolf? I think you need directions to my bed.”

  “You aren’t a lion,” she said, her voice trembling with hostility. “You are not a king. You aren’t a man. You aren’t anything but a coward. A lowlife. A terrible person to think that cracking sick jokes will make a good impression on me. To your bed? Are you kidding me? Underwear? That’s pathetic. And don’t get me started on feminazi. You want feminazi? I’ll go Nazi on your ass. Goodbye.”

  A few of the people sitting nearby must have overheard her because they began to call out and clap as she burst out of there. She was angry, humiliated, furious, and frustrated.

  No more dates. None. Never again.

  6

  Two more years passed, and Mandy didn’t go out on a single date. No, but she did start going out more. She did make a few more friends outside of her main girls. Speaking of the girls, Alexis moved away from the hellish pack in Hazel Park but not to Toledo. Nope. She only moved to Detroit, again, moving because she found her wolf.

  While Alexis and her husband Jasper were off on their honeymoon, Mandy was watching their daughter. Lisa was adorable, and Mandy just loved her to pieces.

  After reading Lisa a fairy tale for the tenth time, Mandy closed it. Lisa was yawning and far too young to understand, but Mandy said it anyhow.

  “One day, you’ll find him. You’ll find the man for you. You won’t be worthless without him, but he’ll change you. He’ll make you stronger. He’ll push you, challenge you. You’ll love him. You’ll always love him.”

  Mandy nodded to herself as Lisa slumped in her bed, nearly asleep now.

  “And even if he leaves you, you’ll remain strong. You’ll remain the better person he helped shaped you to become. It’s not about moving on. It’s about moving forward,” she whispered to the little one.

  Mandy kissed Lisa on the forehead. It didn’t pain her anymore that she and Brent hadn’t had any children. Maybe she would find someone else one day. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she’d be a mother. Maybe not.

  She hadn’t been looking for love the night she met Brent. She sure as hell wasn’t looking for love now. If it happened, she would try to embrace it.

  As she watched the peaceful Lisa sleep, a wave of acceptance and peace washed over Mandy. The future held so many mysteries, but for the first time since before Brent’s diagnosis, she could honestly say that she was looking forward to having a fresh start tom
orrow.

  I love you, Brent.

  Although she knew it was her imagination, she swore she could hear him howl in response.

  Lisa gave the tiniest of howls in her sleep, and Mandy quietly answered her, careful not to wake the little girl. Mandy’s howl wasn’t quite as lonely anymore.

  She was going to live her life. She was going to be strong and endure. She was going to live, and if love touched her again, she would still never forget her first wolf.

  Other Books By Daniella Starre

  To Love and Defend

  Protecting What’s His in At All Costs boxed set

  His Alpha Valentine

  Her First Wolf

  Her Lonely Howl

  Protecting What’s Hers

  About the Author

  Daniella Starre loves love, chocolate martinis, and… okay, any kind of martini. When she’s not writing about werewolves finding their mates, she’s binging all kinds of shows and movies on Netflix.

  Follow Daniella

  www.DaniellaStarre.com

  [email protected]